Guest Post: Embarrassing Story #5

And here we are, ladies and gentlemen. It’s our final post (I think…I did get a late entry that may come soon, but not until after I write my embarrassing story down for you!) This comes from “Kath”…and what could be better than boobs and the cops colliding? Ah, yes. When someone WRITES about it! Enjoy!

S.

This is a duplicate of an email conversation I had with my old PhD supervisor last year, following an embarrassing encounter I had with a cop.

Re: A Boob Story

And by “boob,” I mean “breast.”

I was off to the library to return some stuff this morning, at 4am nonetheless, when the police pulled me over for a “random” breath test and license check. I was driving the only car on the road so it really wasn’t all that random. (Also, apparently it is suspicious to be going to the library at 4am, because I was questioned thoroughly about it.) I was busy thanking my lucky stars that I’d had time to slip my seatbelt on properly ($300 fine) when the cop noticed I had a recently expired registration sticker. I was told that it was “technically an offence” but that “no one really cares that much.” (I plan to use that last phrase when I start my career as a litigator.)

I thought I was being let off with a warning because I had a cute dog with me. When I got to McDonald’s drive thru and looked downward to get my purse I realised that a hole in my well-loved pjs had shifted, along with the seatbelt, to leave very little to the imagination.

They can’t really see much when they shine the torch into the car, can they?

K

Greg’s reply:

Do you reckon you could possibly re-enact this for TV? I suspect that driving even in the wee smalls with more than one puppy on show might technically be an offence too, but what the hell. On the other hand, you’re driving your dog in your badly adjusted neo- punk grunge nightwear at 4am — for all the world like you’re Paris Hilton just coming home, or maybe Amy Winehouse — “to the library” [has book in car, thinks quickly but not too well] — he must have thought he was on a winner. And then she’s stone cold sober — who’d have thought. Did they check for other substances, or isn’t the arm of the law that long?

If you’re going to behave like that you have to come back to Townsville; it would be a front page story here. Thanks for sharing.

G

Me:

Why would I need to re-enact it? I caught the whole thing on my mobile phone. I’ll let you know when it is scheduled to air on ‘Funniest Home Videos.’

K

Greg:

You did it on purpose! Go you good thing! Which number Police Academy should I pre- order?

G

Nah, not on purpose. A la Paris Hilton, recording myself on my mobile phone is just habit.

K
And that’s it, all. Thank you so much for sharing these stories with me and my readers. Coming soon: Sugar Snap Me is featured in a High School Pep Rally. Can’t you just picture it? You can’t? Well, don’t worry….I have a picture for you.

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5 Comments

Filed under Guest Post Series

5 responses to “Guest Post: Embarrassing Story #5

  1. Kira

    I love it! Ha. The email exchange is also great.

  2. Wait! What was showing? A breast? Or something else? I’m confused!

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