Category Archives: All of them.

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It’s The End Of This Blog As I Know It (and I feel fine)

Well, folks. It’s likely become pretty obvious to you that my blog has become a, er . . . non-priority. I have a new business that has replaced my creative writing time and, well, things have just changed in general for me. I find myself wanting to tuck pieces of myself away and save whatever time I do have for other things.

Years ago when I was living in Santa Fe, one of my friends and I were out gallivanting around town and I was yammering on about this and that, and my friend turned to me and said, “Sarah, sometimes it’s ok to keep some things just for you.” I didn’t really understand what the hell he was talking about, so I said, “I really don’t understand what the hell you’re talking about.” He very gently went on to explain that he believed I tended to commit the crime of the overshare and that it would be healthy for me to try and hold back more and keep some of my thoughts, experiences, and insights to myself to treasure.

As I have grown old and decrepit, I realize that while at the time I thought he was a douchebag, he had a point. And so, I am ending my blog life once my prepaid URL runs out. (I have no idea when this will be, because I don’t pay attention to such things, but I do know that it will happen at some point in the future. I don’t want to look it up right now. I’m tired.)

I thank you for being such supportive readers for the last 3 years. I turned to writing at a time when my life was enjoyable, yet consumed by my children. I love my children, but I have to admit, having them almost caused me to set myself on fire. During that time, it was a struggle for me to find a moment to search my thoughts, let alone put them down on virtual paper, but with each post I felt encouraged to continue doing so. You encouraged me to do so. Writing brought me out of my probably-needed-antipsychotics funk and back to myself in a way that I desperately needed.

But now I am going to take my old friend’s advice and just live my life undocumented. And SIPNEL, I like closure. It’s healthy, and my therapist used to talk a lot about its importance, so I strive for it still. So consider this little announcement me achieving closure.

Peace out.

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Where In The World?

I know I’ve been MIA. Radio Silent. Covert Ops. On the DL.


And I’m still busy. So this will be brief.

I’m opening a business. A massage clinic to be exact. I’ve never been prouder of any professional accomplishment in my life, and it isn’t even open yet. I eat almost every daytime meal while driving, and am so busy that I have to put things in my calendar like, “pick up the children”, but I’m close to reaching this pretty exciting goal. And like most achievements, I’ve been helped along the way. So this is my Oscar speech.

Thanks to Laura Danker for meeting with me early on, and guiding me towards the right business structure. Thanks to Adam Schwartz for urging me to Keep. It. Simple. To Rob Ferrier for referring me to a lawyer, and to Chrissy for referring me to another lawyer. To the guy from Century Link for waiving all those charges, and to Ann at the City for pushing my paperwork through. Thanks to the guy at the bank that told me I needed an EIN. Thanks to Becca for being a wonderful sounding board during a confusing time in my life. Thanks to Dennis Pepe, Sandy Anderson, and Christopher Yellen for sharing a bit of their own business experience with me. Thanks to Greg B. for the heads up regarding what to expect from the inspection (and for being surprisingly accessible), and to my personal “investigator” with the city, who is going to also become a client. Thanks to the 27 people that I spoke to at the Arizona Corporations Commission, all who helped me with my LLC drama. To my landlords for being so freaking cool and easy going, and for not making fun of my measuring tape. Thanks to my close friends for checking in with me on a regular basis and letting me blab. Thanks to my husband for agonizing over the lease, day after day, night after night, and for attempting to obtain his law degree in like, one week and on top of it all making everything pretty and for dealing with all my freak outs and emotions. Thanks to Lynda Skinner for, well, for being Lynda Skinner and asking me, “what can I do to help you, what do you need?” and to Joseph Lauricella, who always and forever has by back and calls me on my crap, just a like a brother should. Thank you to the girl at TJ Max that saved me $30. Seriously. That was cool. Thanks a million trillion to Jody, Marji and Joseph for writing me the most beautiful letters of recommendation that I’ve ever read, even though they are the busiest people that I know, and for doing it TWICE in a very short time frame. Thanks to Edie for making my props and BEING my prop, and to Deb Kortyna for hooking me up with her Insurance guy/husband. Thanks to my leasing agent for teaching me….well…a lot of things that I will tuck away for another day. Thanks for Beverly Giroud for telling me years ago that I have the ability to succeed on my own and for letting me use her space when I desperately needed too, and to Jennifer Moulton for the microwave and friendship. Thanks to Dave G. for the most beautiful and meaningful piece of furniture for the clinic, and to his beautiful wife for the Obi’s. Thanks to Cori for offering us her support and expertise, and for being understanding when we chose a different path. Thanks to Allissa Haines for sharing her easy going business model with me, and for unknowingly giving me some advice that made me go it solo. Thanks to all of my clients that have been bounced around between treatment spaces this past year, and for tolerating it all with patience and genuine well wishes. Thanks to Jill Dolan for ALLLLLL the advice that John and I so desperately needed, both legal and personal. Thank you to John W. for telling me I could and should do this when a lot of people were telling me I shouldn’t. Thanks to Clau for the filing cabinets. Thanks to all the people that are coming to my put it together party, and to the three therapists that are taking this leap with me right out of the gate. And thanks to my Mom and Step Dad for believing in me so much that they have helped me get this off the ground with a loan that I can’t wait to pay back.

And that’s all before the doors even open.


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December 2012 231






It’s that time of year, folks. It’s the time of year when the Cafiero clan (after spending 11 months talking about a Christmas song, and the fact that we should really record it early) goes totally insane and races to finish their damn Christmas song. And then it occurred to me that I have a blog. A blog in which I can inflict our Christmas song on…er….about 78 people. Then if occurred to me that we have a 3 song EP basically, so I am going to share them here. We hope you enjoy them!

Silent Night, Y’all.

What Child Is This? No. Seriously. Who’s kid is this?

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas! Do IT!


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Halloween Costume Ideas.

You can thank me later.

  1. Controlling white guy with Asian girl friend whose hand he grips tightly at all times.
  2. My muffin top.
  3. Regret.
  4. Ferret owner/collector
  5. A hammer toe.
  6. Natural Childbirth
  7. Bob Dylan circa 2012
  8. The look on my face when the boys won’t stop talking.
  9. 17-18 year old girl. Costume requires: skirt that ends at the tip of vagina. Top that just barely covers nipples. Also, wearer must squat slightly while arching back at all times, and also pucker lips.
  10. Seth Green
  11. Untreated Yeast infection
  12. Josh Hartnett.
  13. Fans of Tiffany.
  14. Baby with eczema.
  15. Big scary guy on tiny bike.
  16. Phlegm.
  17. Low talker.
  18. Creepy middle aged white guy that hasn’t been exposed to light in years.
  19. That dove that cries in that Prince song.
  20. A whittler.
  21. Professional clogger.
  22. The Funky Bunch.
  23. Ruddy complected alcoholic.


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Tsk. Tsk.

So, I get it. You’re busy. You don’t have the time to write a short little blip about something that has embarrassed you. Writing doesn’t come naturally, or maybe you have lived a life free of embarrassment, which, if this is true, I hate you.

I want submissions. I want them so hard. I want to hear from other people about their lives, their cinematic blips. I want to laugh, relate to you, and quite freaking frankly, I want to try this submission thing because I have never tried it before.

I am extending the submission deadline because you have given me no other choice. You broke me. You have two more weeks. That means that for reals the deadline is no later than Friday the 24th. I will be open to any embarrassing moments that you will share with me, not just childhood memory ones. So, get cracking, or you’ll see this face in your nightmares for the rest of your life:


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Sugar Snap YOU! Submit Your Hiney Off!

So, I have the blog, see? And I love writing for it, see? But the thing is, I need some inspiration. And I can’t think of a better way to get inspired than by asking my readers to write. And so, Sugar Snap Me is asking for submissions*. Now, the dealio is that whatever you submit to me may or may not be published. If you are ok with that, then submit your little heart out. If you aren’t ok with that then, well, you’re weird.

I want to hear your most embarrassing childhood memory. Now, when I say childhood, what I mean is any memory that embarrasses you from before you were old enough to vote, because let’s face it, most of us were children until our mid-twenties anyway, but asking for your most embarrassing childhood memory requires some realistic boundaries.

I will read through all the submissions and select my favorite. If I just can’t choose (which is the reason I have 23 black tank tops-I love them ALL) then I will post the top 3. We’ll see how this whole thing goes. Ya dig? Who knows? Maybe I’ll love them all and it will be a smorgasbord of shame!

Two more things:

1) Share this with your “network”. This is a word I have most recently added to my arsenal of fancy words. So, post it to your Facebook wall and ask your friends/family to participate. I want to see a crap ton of submissions for my first ever submissions-fest.

2) I can only offer you one thing in return for your participation, and that is that when I die, you will be the last person I think of. Swear. Pinkie promise. For reals. Totes. No joke.

*Please submit to – Deadline is 8/13/2012 – No word limit, but don’t be annoying. I’ve added the most obnoxious picture of me ever, just to add some spice.Image

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I’m a chump

Since I don’t know how to email my readers, I have to post this instead. The post that came to your mailbox about my…er…..muffin top, is incomplete. Please click through to the site to read the entire post. The neurotic in me is having a total meltdown at the thought you only reading the first half, as you will miss some funny. And that, my dears, would be a travesty.



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